The Donkey
Picture this: you are out and about, running errands, and your kiddo asks you to hold something for them. You may already have your hands full with shopping bags, purses, emotional-support water bottles, a warm latte (if you’re lucky!), and usually a tiny human’s hand. And yet, in their naive and innocent eyes, you are able to hold just one.more.thing. In their minds, if they unload their baggage, they will be free to roam, to dance, to run, to fly.
“But what about us?
Aren’t we already heavy-burdened?”
As moms, we carry the world on our shoulders. From the moment our alarms wake us up in the morning, we are clocked in. We wake our sleepy babes from their beds, pick out their clothes, make their breakfast, pack lunches and snacks and water bottles and diaper bags, sign permission slips, and walk our littles to the bus stop. And then our day begins.
For some of us, we step out of our loungewear, put on a real bra and crisp pants suits and go to work. We may work at a law firm or a medical facility or a tax office. We may be assistants or partners or CEOs. Hell, half of us own small businesses!
For some of us, we rule our household by cleaning and folding laundry and meal planning. We may be shopping for our daughter’s dress for her first communion. Or going from store to store searching for our son’s new baseball bat. And that doesn’t even include the drop offs, the pick ups, the doctor appointments, the PTO.
Whatever we’re doing, moms — WOMEN — run the world! And if Beyonce said it, then it must be true.
I vividly remember a morning last December when I was standing at the bus stop and a thoughtful friend and neighbor of mine asked how we’d been. I began to unload all of the chaos {and fun!} that had ensued that week/weekend. An ER visit with my oldest son following a bad fall in soccer that resulted in a concussion. Another ER visit (just 2 days later) with my youngest son after finding out he had not had a bowel movement in 2 weeks! A wonderful lunch celebrating one of my dearest friend’s birthdays. Preparing for my piano students’ upcoming winter recital. And, most joyfully, attending The Nutcracker ballet with my sweet mama, a favorite yearly tradition of mine.
Long after the bus drove away with our little loves inside, she turned to me and said, “Wow! That’s quite a lot in a week’s time. And how are YOU feeling?” Knowing all of my past and present health struggles, I knew what she was really asking. And as much as I would have loved to respond with, “I’m feeling great!”, I responded with, “Oh yeah. I was diagnosed with lupus 5 days ago.” The look on my sweet friend’s face said it all: How in the world?! How are you still standing? And smiling? How are you not a crumbled mess on this dirty pavement?!
By the time I had returned to my home, I had an image in my head that has since stuck with me throughout this year: a donkey carrying a heavy load on his back.
“It’s all just too much! No one person should have to carry the weight of their world.
And truthfully no one could.”
Allow me to take you to Sunday school for just a moment. Throughout the Bible, a donkey is a symbol for peace. For instance, when Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a day that is now named “Palm Sunday,” he rode atop a donkey. Rather than riding atop a warhorse with the intention of conquering, Jesus rode upon a donkey, symbolizing his humility as the King of Peace.
Scholars also place Mary, the birth mother of Christ, atop a donkey while traveling from the village of Nazareth in Galilee to Bethlehem in Judea. This 80-mile journey had to be a very uncomfortable one as Mary was heavily pregnant, due to deliver her baby at any time. I have never ridden a donkey myself but I don’t believe it to be an extremely comfortable mode of transportation for anyone, let alone a full-term, pregnant, young woman. But since Joseph was not a wealthy man, he most likely could not afford such first-class treatment as a horse or camel. So the donkey not only carried their belongings but also the mother of Christ Himself!
This image of a donkey, carrying the literal Sacrifice of all sacrifices, humbles me. Maybe because I imagine all of us moms as a donkey for our children. We carry the emotional, mental, physical, and sometimes spiritual weight of our family’s world. And just like a donkey, we ~usually~ do it with grace and a good attitude.
““As our partners, [donkeys] have taken a proverbial load off of our back, performing difficult – if not otherwise impossible – tasks. And they have done so selflessly and with grace.” ”
The truth of the matter is this: I am not carrying this load on my own. I have a tribe like no other. From my own parents and parents-in-love to my amazing husband, who has supported me, lifted me up, carried me, and even saved my life when I tried to “end it” a little over a year ago. (I get choked up when I think of the blessing he is to me and our boys.) And my sister and brother who are always available for a late-night FaceTime vent session and lots of soul-filling laughter.
And then I’m blessed with the best circle of friends that I could ask for. I have besties who have known me from a single lady to a newlywed to a young mom to a professional to a patient (and everything in between) and have loved and supported me through it all. I have soul sisters who pray over me and remind me of my own inner strength that I forgot I had. I have friends who initially entered in the form of my kiddos’ friends’ moms who now walk alongside me in life: through soccer practices and tournaments and 504s and IEPs, they are my crutch and carpool angels that became second mamas to my boys. And many more friends that I cannot even count that have helped to lift my load by praying for me and texting me and listening to me and supporting me.
Most importantly, I am supported by the Almighty Supporter without whom, I would not be strong enough to carry anything. I often say I don’t know how people go through life without their faith in Christ. How can people stay afloat — after horrific deaths of their children and unemployment that leaves them stranded and drug addictions that threaten to take their lives and abuse that crushes their souls — without the steadfast and unconditional love of their Creator?
“Even if this whole Christianity thing is all just a “joke,” as some people suggest, then I guess the hope in the joke has kept me from buckling under the weight of it all.”
I don’t think a donkey will ever be awarded first prize at an equestrian competition for their stadium show jumping or praised for their beautiful dressage. But they will never fail when it comes to supporting the needs of their favorite humans. And I think that’s because they know their masters will continue to feed them, give them shelter, and look out for their general well-being… just as Christ does for us.
If our trust is rooted in a secure foundation of Truth, we will always be strong enough to carry whatever burdens life brings us.
