The Waiting Game
I am not a patient person. At all. I want what I want, when I want it. As I type that, I have to chuckle a little because my husband has been telling me this for years. I guess he was right.
I feel like last year was full of “opportunities” to learn patience, which translates to long periods of just.. well… waiting.
Between July 1st and August 15th, I had 5 menstrual cycles. F-I-V-E. Of course I scheduled an appointment with my Ob and, after running blood tests to check my hormone levels, she scheduled me for a pelvic ultrasound… and they found a tumor.
Attached to the upper right quadrant was a growth that took up 1/4 of the space in my uterus. It almost looked like coral reef had planted itself into my endometrium lining and was now taking over.
““To be honest, I have no idea what it is but I know we need to get in there and get it out ASAP.””
A few days prior to the procedure, I went to the hospital for my pre-op blood work and was told they found “abnormal antibodies” and would need to postpone my procedure for another 2 weeks.
Time to wait.
Following the procedure, my doctor said she did not suspect it was cancerous but I waited a whole week before getting the phone call that it was, indeed, benign. Praise God.
Because of the abnormal blood work, I was referred to a hematologist who ordered more blood tests than I can count. After finding abnormal results for herself, she declared that we were either looking for an autoimmune disorder or Paraneopolastic Syndrome (when antibodies grow to attack a malignant tumor - cancer - but end up attacking its own healthy nervous system).
Um, WHAT?!
She ordered several tests to rule out any other possible tumors. The chest x-ray came back clear. Good. On to a mammogram, which unfortunately, did not come back clear. I was told they saw “possible architectural distortion” which could be a sign of “non-palpable breast cancer”.
Um, WHAT?!
Another 3 weeks of waiting until they could get me in for another mammogram and ultrasound - 3 weeks of convincing myself that, since I’ve already nursed my babies, maybe I don’t need my breasts anymore. (Of course, convincing Dan of this idea was a little more difficult.)
{imagine me twiddling my thumbs as I impatiently wait for my appointment}
The second mammogram cleared me of ALL suspicions as I was told I just have extremely dense breast tissue. Well, geez. So 3 weeks of thinking I’m dying of breast cancer all because I have FAT BOOBS?!
Either way, I am thankful. And relieved.
Most recently, she referred me to a Gastroenterologist for a colonoscopy to both rule out colon cancer and to find the source of my severe anemia (a possible leak in my intestines?). It was scheduled for January 2nd, which I just viewed as an opportunity to jump-start the new year with a full “detox” and maybe shed a few pounds along the way.
As awful as the prep was, my doctor ruled out colon cancer (more relief). He is now 80% convinced I have Celiac Disease (which would explain my anemia, caused by malabsorption). He has scheduled me for a capsule endoscopy, which entails me swallowing a vitamin-size capsule with a camera inside. As the capsule travels through my digestive tract, the camera will take thousands of pictures that are transmitted to a recorder I get to wear on a belt around my waist.
Fashionable AND high-tech! Also learning more about my digestive tract than I ever thought I would.
Lastly, since I tested positive for ANA’s (antinuclear antibodies) and display a variety of abnormal symptoms, my rheumatologist is trying to rule out any other autoimmune disorders, such as Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE) or Sjogren’s Syndrome. He has scheduled me for a lip biopsy and, yes, more blood work.
More waiting.
““Rather than acting like impatient children as we wait for God’s will to unfold, we need to have confidence in God’s perfect timing and wisdom.””
I’m hoping and praying that none of you are waiting for test results…or waiting for your next procedure…or waiting for your doctor to find a tumor. But, I know we’re ALL waiting for something.
Waiting for a new job. Or a new house. Or to get pregnant. Or for your baby to sleep through the night. Or to finish school. Or to lose 10 pounds. Or to find your niche in life.
Whatever you’re waiting for, know this: I’m waiting right alongside you.
